today

Today, just like the day before, and the day before that (and, as you could truthfully say, so on) I asked myself for the hundredth time... How did I arrive in this dark situation?
I am contemplating suicide. I am. I seriously am. I think of how to best facilitate it. What have I got to live for? Easy life? Drinks by the pool? Hot chics and sports cars? Alright... alright hold on... You've convinced me! Yes! YES, GODDAMNIT! That really is something to live for. Alright... Soo no suicide then, huh?
Good.
Good good.
Very good.
Now I have something to live for.
See? There is something constructive.
Now... the only question I now ask myself is HOW.
How will I facilitate that?

Well... I needed to become rich.
So I made my own corporation. It hasn't started generating income yet. But it was a start. Yesterday we had our first corporate party at a night club. Yes, we had no income. We had no clients. But we could throw parties. And maybe that's all that matters because ultimately the whole life is nothing but perceptions. Trick is not to fall for them. The goal had to be achievable. And I wasn't sure my goal was.